The AuDition...

       A date is actually kind of like an audition, isn't it??? We often have an idea of what we are looking for, which is actually terribly unfortunate, cuz this idea we all have... is actually based on the people from our past relationships or for the first timers out there, a fairy tale or worse.. A MOVIE...  LoL These qualities we so desire are probably the best characteristics about them and well I'm sure if you think about it, they had worse attributes in comparison... These individuals, our exes... "The ones who shall not be named.." continue to inevitably shape the next superstar in our lives.. Despite the emotionally stunted and probable psychopaths in the world we just keep moving on... From one dodo to the other... With a virtual questionnaire in our hands, ticking off boxes in our heads and wishing for the next ideal person to come along...

            SOOO after consulting a number of friends, I started putting in to words the random date experiences we've been on... And an astonishing amount of information came to light... So keep reading and humour me for a few mins..

          And so it begins the 1st date that could be the last 1st date or the stepping stone to more awkward experiences... But life can be most "bitchy" when it wants to be... However when it starts to play jokes on you!!!! WOW!!! Give it a good old week or more and you could laugh about it for the rest of your life...You ultimately start divulging random pieces of information for absolutely no reason but to stir some curiosity in someones mind!!! What do we think... Hmmmmm... After considering all the factors...

One should probably avoid the following subjects!!! PERIOD!!!!
1.   Random traits about an EX!!!
2.   A rash you have been experiencing..!!???
3.  Weight?? and don't point out unique anatomical features... Duck butts and all....
4.  Don't talk about your ideal mate... Thats for your therapist!! :D
5.   "How much money do you make??"... MONEY???!!!! REALLY???
6.  Do not ask the number!!! The number of people you've dated...
7.  Do not ask if they have dated a particular person...
8.  Asking about your make up is not a good idea...
9.   "I only date Brown people, but your an exception..." LOL
10.  "What's up with your nails?"

Everyone's nervous on a first date but...
1..   "Do you know how to spell "Gonorrhoea" "
2.   "I think I'm falling for you already!!"
3..   DON'T start with corny nicknames!!! "Sweetheart, Darling, F%#$tard!!"
4.   I know what we could name our babies....!!!!!!!
5.   "I think I LOVE U!!!!!!!"
6.  We should try yoga together...
7. You could lose some weight...
8.  We should SKYPE later!!! LOL

Things to avoid doing!!!!
1.   Playing with your phone...
2. Checking out the server!!
3.  Yawning!!!!
4.  Don't consume the other persons face... THAT'S NOT KISSING!! Ohhhh I must blog about the awkward kisses I've heard, seen and experienced!! lol

   The Richter scale has no bearing what so ever on these types of intriguing factual topics of conversation but should they be measured I'd see a Tsunami coming... How would you respond to such atrocities?? STAND up and walk TALL unless you need a ride back home.. If you get past the 1st 30 min!!! CongratS!!! Either you've stood someone long enough to get the hell outta there or your actually having fun!!!

   At the end of the day, you should just be yourself... Everyone's different... Nobodies perfect... But everyone's HUMAN!!! So there's always hope that the right person will come along...