My Life in review

Many years ago, I was only 17 when I took upon myself to study clinical medicine. I was ready to commit, I was ready to make a difference and I was ready to change the world. Much of my social circles considered it a  noble field and an excellent venture worthy of taking on and accomplishing. "The epitome of professional excellence" they called it. Yet, finding myself in medicine was difficult. Although pursuing complex knowledge was both thought provoking and intriguing, other aspects were less attractive. I enjoyed interacting with individuals yet found my interactions most structured in order to conserve time and gather data for prescribing interventions and medication. It was an interesting experience but the more I was immersed in it, the more I wished for more... I hoped for less time within the walls of a hospital and more interaction with the determinants of health. It's difficult to explain, I wanted to create change on a wider, highly accessible platform. A platform that would allow me to understand the human side of health and the social and cultural complexity associated with it. That's when I found public health and that's exactly the time I stopped writing regularly on this blog. I had finally found my calling, something I was so passionate about that I associated a smile with the very expression of it's interest.

Looking back at my education and my longing to belong to a profession where I could make a big difference, I really do get teary. After actively seeking employment for 16 months upon graduation, I cannot say I've been fruitful in securing a position within my field. Some would say that I need to keep going, while others would say that I must pay my dues. Many more would say it's just a bad time for finding a decent job. Here's my opportunity to empower community health and I am without ground to stand on. When I was 17 years old and I took the elevator to my 1st Anatomy course, I didn't think I would feel so useless. I didn't think for a second that my education and experiences would land me in front of a screen with tears in my eyes writing about my feelings of worthlessness.... 

LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.... Oh life, if I could have a conversation with you... If you were a person who could hear my words... What could I say? I cannot even blame you for my actions, as they are my own and I am solely responsible for them. I cannot even ask you to weep on my behalf because I have a roof over my head and people who love me. I cannot even give myself an hour to feel sorry for myself as that would mean I am quitting on myself... And I am not a quitter... 

Reviewing 28 years of joyous mistakes and echoing accomplishments, I am expressing myself at a sore point in my life. I could be quite unhappy regarding this experience or state of being on the 3rd of January 2016. But I will not! I choose to believe that I can and will change the world. I am grateful for this feeling so early on in the new year as it will only make me stronger. It will only make me more determined and eager to take on a future where I can instrument greater dreams in the field of health and healthcare. 

Happy New Year to all the agents of change and dreamers out there! Times do get rough, it doesn't matter when exactly it is in the new year. You  must always look on at the positive side of things because the alternative is unacceptable to consider.